HEADLINE: Imagine forgetting the beginning of this sentence by the time you reach the end.

COPY: At first, recent memories fade. Eventually, victims of Alzheimer’s disease lose the ability to care for themselves.

HEADLINE: What if you were responsible for remembering everything that an Alzheimer’s patient forgot?

COPY: Make dad’s breakfast.
Cut up food into pieces.
Help dad get out of of bed.

HEADLINE: Imagine losing a parent while they're still alive.

COPY: She barely recognizes you. She can't remember the very name she gave you decades ago. Yet, she's your mother.

HEADLINE: The mutants will attack tomorrow. (Right after the Fed-Ex guy leaves.)

SPONSOR: Gamecave.com

HEADLINE: Bile. Phlegm. Warm intestines. Severed Arms. (Coming soon to your mailbox.)

SPONSOR: Gamecave.com

HEADLINE: Flesh-eating zombies are at your door. (We should know. We delivered them.)

SPONSOR: Gamecave.com

HEADLINE: You were well liked in high school. Why not be despised at your reunion?

HEADLINE: Moves lumber. Hauls lattes.

COPY: Mitsubishi Montero Sport. It's perfect for back to nature experiences. Like trips to the local garden center.

HEADLINE: For three days, forget everything you learned in driver's education.

COPY: If people say you drive like a maniac, have we got an event for you: the Ramada Express International Rally presented by Mitsubishi Motors.

HEADLINE: "Dad, can I borrow the car this weekend?"

COPY: Grab the car keys and get ready for the adventure of your life: the Ramada Express International Rally presented by Mitsubishi Motors.

HEADLINE: Driving away without paying. Isn't there a word for that?

COPY: Who needs money to buy a car? Right now, drive home a gutsy new Mitsubishi Galant for zero down, zero interest and zero payments for a year.

HEADLINE: Give people in a traffic jam something to look at.

COPY: Mitsubishi Eclipse. People will look at you differently. That is, when you're not a total blur.

HEADLINE: You'll never lose your car in a parking lot again.

COPY: Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder. If you want to blend in, buy a sedan. See your Mitsubishi Retailer or visit mitsubishicars.com. Are you in?

LOGO: Mitsubishi Motors. Wake up and drive.